City To Country Girl

Peaceful, beautiful, countryside. Pastures full of cattle, horses, and goats. Bales of hay, old farm houses with deep, wide porches, some falling in to disrepair, others thriving. A lot of working farms, farmers selling their produce, seeming to be moving at a much slower pace,but accomplishing a full days work. The drive to our quaint home on the country road is worth capturing in words and pictures. Sounds great, right?
The city girl, that’s me,  is excited to embrace nature, the lure of its charm, but I do not feel as confident as I sound. I grew up in Indianapolis and Chicago and learned how to stand up for myself. Stand up to bullies, and gangs. But as I took a walk down a road close to out home, I started wondering what that sound was in the woods, and right at that moment, across the street, the neighbors dog was racing right at me, growling, running close by my ankles.
I have lived out by corn fields and cows when I was a teenager and encountered packs of dogs. But as an adult I was attacked by a little dog, and now have a stupid fear of dogs and, so silly, other animals too.
I burst in to stupid girly tears, turned around, and raced home, feeling ashamed that I am now a grown up scaredy cat. But upon returning home, I calmed down and knew that I will do my best to make this the best year of my new country life.

Staying Connected

The life I have, and have had, is just beautiful. I have always loved being a momma, wife, daughter, and friend. I am so thankful. I have noticed there are stages, as a family, we have to climb up and get through to graduate to the next. Sometimes, I slow down, fall, or stop, but never quit and don’t plan to. Each day of my life, since I have had our first child, has been very full of love, bills, work, stress, tears, fun & laughter. We added prayer to our to-do list and gave all our worries each morning, at supper, and at bedtime to the Lord. Our life together, as a big family, has been very rich.

As we dwindled down to two, I felt empty, and then lost. Empty, because I loved hearing their voices and laughter in the house, and lost, because I would not have them around to mommy them. School schedules, swimming, sports, doctor appointments, working, rushing to the store, making homemade meals each night, prayer and bedtime. Then doing it all over again, and again. I went over being a mother and felt like I had tried so hard to be the very best. I loved each one of our children so much and the same. I never had a favorite child. I loved how they were each different. If I went back in time, I would add in more cooking with them, teaching them further than the basic recipes. I would play more classical music and insist they each learn notes and try their hand at a musical instrument. I would have longer, daily reading time. (WHERE I could see them and WHAT they were reading). LOL I would provide more and better materials for writing, and their artwork. We would find something new to learn every single day. I would stop everything and play more.

I have always told each one of them how proud I am of them. So, as my time having each one in our home, has ended, I tried to think of a way to stay connected. I pray daily for each one, and their new young families. I still encourage them and tell them I love them and that I am proud of them. I listen to each new plan they have and smile as much as possible. (Even if I begin to worry about this new direction they are headed). I exercise more and eat better so I can hopefully be healthier for them when I am older. I try to stay up on new technology, songs, books, and movies. But I still might be considered a dinosaur!  I love them so much and I keep them in my prayers. I picture the future, the up’s and down’s, and I try to stay strong. Trying to stay strong, keeping the path open, if they need me. Standing here,trying to stay connected.

Time After Time

 A very special moment was had this morning. Picture two lovers. They wake up in the morning way before the morning is lit. They shower, have devotions and prayer together. They sip their coffee, all while loving each other with sweet smiles and the look in their eyes. Pandora is playing songs from the station Wonderland by Night. Then, for a brief moment, their world stops. Their love song is beginning.

Time After Time fills the room and they stand, move close, and dance. As they hold each other, gently swaying to the beautiful words, tears start to form in their eyes and travel down their cheeks. The lyrics are:Time after time I tell myself that I am so lucky to be loving you.  So lucky to be the one you run to see in the evening when the day is through. I only know what I know, the passing years will show,  you’ve kept my love so young, so new. And time after time you’ll hear me say that I’m so lucky to be loving you.   

And I am. Jennifer is lucky to be loving Gary. 

 

Good Morning

I have really been enjoying each single short moment In the mornings before work. Having strong coffee and making a healthy creative breakfast. Listening to classical music as I drive. The good morning greeting flows quite nicely around the kitchen, hall, and family room in our home. Even our 3 and 1 year old grand babies enjoy giving this greeting and they throw in extra bonuses. They run at you full speed yelling good morning with a huge hug and smile. Maybe us adults should start doing this to each other! Could you imagine?! Have a beautiful day :).

Our Backpack

I used to love to tease with my husband, Gary, that if everyday life as a momma and wife got to be too much, I would fade away. I would calmly go to the closet, put on my walking shoes, wrap my arms into my backpack, and walk. Walk away from it all. Then he would take my hand, I would look into his eyes, and we would start laughing. After almost 21 years of marriage, we both know that whatever has happened in our life with each other, we really have handled it together.

He shared with me not too long ago, that when I very first mentioned my backpack (way back when), he was just a little envious. I really would never have gone far. And I wouldn’t actually walk, I would drive my truck. I would go down to get an iced tea somewhere and pull a book out of my tinkerbell backpack. It is just big enough to hold my phone and a book, my sunglasses, and my keys. I would sit in a parking lot and read for about 20 minutes. Miss everyone and head back home. There will be a time and many travels for a backpack, but it will be ours. A backpack we share together.

It will hold first aid items, a couple of sandwich bags with snacks,two water bottles,his knife,my lipstick,a change of clothes for each of us,the camera,our phones,the tablet. We will take turns carrying our backpack. It will get rained on, sweat drenched, and plenty of fresh air and sunlight. Our backpack will follow us on some pretty cool adventures. Adventures that will be amazingly done together. Jennifer 

Never Really Knowing Her

I have worked four years for an elderly woman with the beginnings of breast and lung cancer. The cancer has, in the last year, taken over her feet, and works it’s way up her legs. I deep clean her home once a week and every day come for an hour to feed her dog, feed her, make her smoothie,coffee,and lay out her clothes. She also has hospice 3 days a week.  

She has become wheelchair bound, and one of her biggest joys is watching her birds. She loves her politics and has mentioned traveling all over the world with her husband and children. She was an Hospital Administrator in San Antonio. After that, I could mention that she is very giving, outspoken, and loves the Lord. 

Until this morning, I never really knew her. I’ve only known her as an older woman, one needing assistance. I was hearing her morning program and that they were skydiving. I yelled out from the kitchen that I thought that would be so much fun. I want to do that soon! She yelled back. “I’ve already done it. And the thrill of flying is amazing!”

Here has sat a woman, that has accomplished wonderful things in her life. She has been one of the girls in the Roller Derby, traveled the world, skydived, rode a motorcycle, and sped down the side of a mountain in a seat on a rail. Each visit I hope to pull more adventures of her life out of her, and hope to get to really know her.

Just a Funny One I wanted to post :^)

My last post was about Dreams. My dreams. The same dream. Time after  T I M E. So now I wonder if because I wrote about my wandering nights, the dream changed? What does this mean? I am at Walmart looking through jeans trying so hard to find my size. Then Gary walks up and starts having me try on very expensive jackets. Jackets that are not colors we like, or the style we would pick out. Then this very elderly man is beside me, handing jackets to me that are too large. Then I am at a creepy mall. But in my dream, I am actually happy because I am on the 2nd floor. Which in my dream, I realize I came up the escalator. I was comforted to still have steps in my night travels. 

Still at the mall, Gary says he wants to go on this walking trail that is there. All inside. It has footprints that you follow all along the way. He goes first, and I have to wait my turn. But, I am not wearing any shoes. I have come to the mall in just my socks. (I do have clothes on) HA! Thank goodness. The lady says I may borrow old shoes that have been left and are now in lost and found. Ewwww. But I look through the box, none are my size. I squeeze into a size 5, I’m a 6 1/2. (I don’t dream about numbers or sizes) Then the lady says I have to tell the managers I will offer up a special prayer for them for letting me borrow the shoes. So, I walk over, and the man says, “Don’t worry about it, just buy us new toupee’s”. To which I said, “Alright, I will”. Which sent them into huge fits of laughter. 

Then I realize I have to go to the bathroom and I am so lucky that the next place over is a restaurant. I hail down the frightened looking waitress and she says I will find the restroom to the left, but beware! The manager will attack you. He will chase you down if he catches you and realizes you did not pay for food. So I race around the corner and hear him right behind me. I quickly crawl under a table and spot the restroom about 7 feet away. I make a run for it, but stop when I realize the mall is dark and has closed.

I tell my husband, Gary, that I had the same dream AGAIN. He just smiles, but this morning I actually had him laughing. So he has now decided we will read our books and fall asleep to music.

Great. I now remember I used to fall asleep to music as a child and I dreamt of animals chasing and eating me.