A stack of books with the bindings turned to show the worn titles were the focal point in my mind. Or my mind’s eye, was I suppose to say? I don’t know. I would have to figure that out later. I looked at them every single day and drew warmth and love from the thought of myself as a little girl reading them from beginning to end, and beginning to end again. But as I lay in the warm grass, staring deep into the blue sky, I could not remember not one single title. Not one.
I can picture a clear vase with freshly pulled daisies sitting there staring at me. Scott got those for me last night as we took our walk with our “growing old with us” dog. He pulled them out of the tall grass along the road. I am not so sure they are not considered weeds, so that makes me love them even more. Two metal coasters are stacked together because I can’t seem to throw them away even though I have never liked them. An ashtray with a naked lady laying on her stomach that has been my soap holder for about a year is there in case I ever want to smoke in the house. An envelope marked ‘David’ with pictures of us and his family, a roll of yellow ribbon, a roll of shurtape, an old printer, three magazines with half-finished crosswords, my wallet, and my cell phone.
Of course, there is an apple computer,big and huge, on my desk that I really think is checking me out every time I sit down in front of it. But, the big, comforting, stack of books is fading from my vision and I know why. These special books were given as presents from my Grandma and my Grandpa and their very special friend, my Grandpa’s wife. The secrets they hold would shock almost everyone. The words are literally fading from the pages.
Confusing, I know. I can search back in time, but I will not be able to ever change the past! Nor, do I want to. I just need help figuring out this mystery that has intwined love with secrets and involves my Grandpa and two very special women in our family chain.
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